i was rollin on her like bob the builder
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
