He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
