bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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