If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
