Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
