And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
no you cant smoke seaweed
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
