the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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