i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i came on her dog
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she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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