just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i jhust puked up my retainher.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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