if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I got her a Nickelback box set.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
