thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
They took my balls.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
