Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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