this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
