Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
