Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
another moral hangover. fuck.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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