no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
