omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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