My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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