I think i sorta joined a cult last night
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
