You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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