Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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