Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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