But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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