Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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