Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
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