She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
