could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
