Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
