Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Now Iām honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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