He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Randomize