Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
