she looked like the before picture.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
