I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
