Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
