we have pet lesbian snakes
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
