He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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