do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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