She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
