I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
It was confusing and full of hummus
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
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