This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
