i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize