Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She tied me up with her honor cords...
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
