she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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