I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
