sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
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New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
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He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now