Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?