Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant

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  (301): if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant http://tfl.nu/x9ap
  Replies (5) Good night (1143) Bad night (579)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Please, let me fuck your mom

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  (678): Please, let me fuck your mom http://tfl.nu/1wga
  Replies (5) Good night (2546) Bad night (1086)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?

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  (432): I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!? http://tfl.nu/8eh6
  Replies (21) Good night (759) Bad night (5056)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself

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  (201): I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself http://tfl.nu/d62r
  Replies (34) Good night (2160) Bad night (3709)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing

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  (616): he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing http://tfl.nu/m3tl
  Replies (8) Good night (2258) Bad night (907)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.

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  (905): Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up. http://tfl.nu/c9v7
  Replies (9) Good night (826) Bad night (3173)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms

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  (847): I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms http://tfl.nu/d1qk
  Replies (5) Good night (1984) Bad night (712)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.

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  (302): She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before. http://tfl.nu/kra3
  Replies (11) Good night (3781) Bad night (683)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night

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  (215): can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night http://tfl.nu/b1z7
  Replies (11) Good night (1283) Bad night (527)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.

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  (973): Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me. http://tfl.nu/gl2k
  Replies (3) Good night (609) Bad night (1115)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.

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  (309): It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change. http://tfl.nu/p0m1
  Replies (14) Good night (1214) Bad night (1079)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.

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  (480): I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole. http://tfl.nu/g5bi
  Replies (7) Good night (409) Bad night (1391)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.

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  (607): eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest. http://tfl.nu/otqw
  Replies (1) Good night (435) Bad night (696)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS

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  (717): IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS http://tfl.nu/i9d5
  Replies (3) Good night (667) Bad night (308)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder

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  (678): Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder http://tfl.nu/6csr
  Replies (3) Good night (363) Bad night (246)

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