Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!

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  (630): My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea! http://tfl.nu/pudz
  Replies (5) Good night (826) Bad night (1298)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?

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  (503): can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone? http://tfl.nu/oqh6
  Replies (33) Good night (902) Bad night (13182)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.

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  (402): I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat. http://tfl.nu/6414
  Replies (14) Good night (4368) Bad night (1040)
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  (845): View more from New York

  What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...

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  (845): What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank... http://tfl.nu/1rf9
  Replies (59) Good night (823) Bad night (5172)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.

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  (314): Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one. http://tfl.nu/fj7c
  Replies (7) Good night (8753) Bad night (990)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once

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  (651): i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once http://tfl.nu/7d16
  Replies (14) Good night (4225) Bad night (1862)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.

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  (717): If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving. http://tfl.nu/mp36
  Replies (7) Good night (912) Bad night (2483)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.

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  (740): your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head. http://tfl.nu/v5j8
  Replies (13) Good night (1050) Bad night (2056)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  strike, motherfucker.

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  (423): You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em. (423): strike, motherfucker. http://tfl.nu/ain2
  Replies (4) Good night (2161) Bad night (592)
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  (209): View more from California

  Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.

  (209): View more from California

  And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.

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  (209): Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012. (209): And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas. http://tfl.nu/yl8f
  Replies (15) Good night (1808) Bad night (693)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.

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  (606): If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now. http://tfl.nu/nnuj
  Replies (3) Good night (1881) Bad night (726)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.

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  (586): So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER. http://tfl.nu/hlts
  Replies (7) Good night (1730) Bad night (551)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.

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  (304): Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE. http://tfl.nu/c4re
  Replies (6) Good night (1763) Bad night (532)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.

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  (479): Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom. http://tfl.nu/7rpj
  Replies (7) Good night (2973) Bad night (672)
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  (914): View more from New York

  low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..

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  (914): low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen.. http://tfl.nu/o2yv
  Replies (2) Good night (292) Bad night (599)

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