Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
