dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize