What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
