I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
