I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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