He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
