when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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