I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
