her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
