i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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