you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
